Little Of This, Little Of That

January 8, 2012

We have some bunnies.  They are adorable as only bunnies can be.  MDH got me two bunnies when his friend let him know that he had some bunnies he needed to find a home for.  Apparently, as he always does, he remembered when we were in the Farmer’s Supply store and I spent a good thirty minutes conversing with a bunny in a metal tub.  I love talking to animals.  They are in no way judgemental and they always laugh at my jokes. 

So we have these two babies.  They are furry and funny and curious and brave.  We name one Isabella and the other Nitro, which got changed to Snuggie, which got changed to Noogie(I have no idea where this came from, but I was the one who started it).  Now Isabella’s name is Izzy.  This is because we realized Izzy was male when he found his “special purpose in life” and started humping Noogie til he fell over sideways in a swoon. 

We finally had to move them to different quarters because Noogie emphasized her “not tonight, headache” with an attack that left Izzy sans hair on his nose.  MDH, darling that he is, constructed them a three-story condo, complete with balcony and burrow.  We actually moved lawnchairs into a semi-circle around them and sat outside drinking coffee and watching the bunnies for amusement.  (We have such a random life sometimes)

Just in case, we kept track of how long it had been since they were together and finally came to the conclusion that Noogie was not preggers.  Whew!  Dodged that bullet.  Well, not so much.

Rocky and I returned from town one day to discover four tiny little bare assed baby bunnies in the cage.  What??  Yep!  Four of em.  Crazy Legs told us he walked in the house and found Mini (one of our rat terriers) laying on the floor, eyes open, not moving.  And DeeDee on the couch with her paws up on the back of the couch, staring at the wall.  He couldn’t figure out what was going on.  The he checked the rabbit cage and there were the babies.  At that point, the dogs came out of lala land and started freaking out. 

OMG…..baby bunnies are the cutest things EVER!  The fit in the palm of your hand, will try to hop out even though they can’t see, and they feed upside down!  I’m serious.  They get close to their mom’s tummy then they flip upside down onto their backs and start to feed.  Weird! 

We gave one away and sold the other three.  Ten bucks apiece!  w00t!  I was thinking about getting Izzy fixed but now I’m not so sure.  I wouldn’t mind feeling like a contributing member of this family again.  We’ll see how it goes.

Next……Intentions vs Results

I have a very good friend who had a brain tumor.  She was treated for it, did a bunch of rehab, got way better(even lost weight!!!), and it was all way awesome!  She was telling me the doctors told her she had a 50/50 chance of it coming back at some point in the future.  I told her that was great!!!  She said…Huh?  WTF is so great about that????

My intention was to say that a 50/50 chance is all we ever get.  Any of us.  We could wake up dead tomorrow, we could choke to death on a chicken sammich, we could be walking down our steps and get tripped by a tear in the space/time continuum(don’t laugh, shit like that happens to me all the time!),  a piece of space debris could fall out of the sky and embed itself into our brain.  ANYTHING could happen.  Every time you wake up in the morning you have a 50/50 chance of going to bed that night without a tag on your toe.  THAT was my intention.

Result?  I pissed her off and now she knows without a doubt that I’m an idiot.  *sigh*  I’m really getting tired of people finally figuring that out.  I had hoped to keep it a secret for a while longer. 

Intention: Wake up in the morning and decide what housework I need to do, then do it.

Result: I get so bogged down in all the things that need doing that I ‘m not able to do, that I can’t think straight.  I can’t sort things out in order of execution, I can’t bend over, I can’t put my arms over my head for any length of time, I can’t get too hot, I can’t be in an open area without something to hold onto in case I get vertigo, I can’t go down steps very good (hence the badly sprained right ankle and broken left leg that started on the first day of summer and ended on the last day, literally, which was caused by a step down off of a six-inch high porch), I can’t turn my head too fast or I will fall down, ……I could go on forever but I will stop here. 

Intention: Find out how the kids’ day went at school. 

Me: How was your day?

Result: *sigh*

Buddha: FiiiinnnneeeUH!  (whereupon he disappears into his room never to be seen again unless a) food is ready to eat, or b) I wake him up the next day to go to school.

Princess Bella:  Why, what did you hear?

Me: Uh….nuttin.  I was just asking.

PB: Well it was fine! (face getting red, eyes slightly bulging)

Me: Good!

PB: I don’t know why you always have to ask me that!  Nothing happened!  Everything was fine! Not one bad thing happenedalllday! (face very red, eyes bugged out like something off of Outer Limits)  Whereupon she disappears into her room, which lasts all of five seconds because Bella runs at warp speed.  She can only bounce off the walls of her room for a few seconds, then she has to have a larger area to bounce off of. 

Me: (alone in the room, slightly disoriented) Well, that went well.

Next…….

I’ve been browsing around the blogosphere and I ran up on something truly amazing!  simplynutmeg.com is the coolest. blog . ever.  Nutmeg has the voice I heard in my head when I first imagined this blog.  THAT was what this was supposed to sound like.  Unfortunately, my blog comes out sounding just like me.  I wanted to sound all witty and funny and cool.  I guess this could be considered a P.S. to the Intention vs Result section of our day. 

Go check her out.  She rules.  http://simplynutmeg.com/  And while you’re there, you HAVE to check out the “how I survive barney” section.  The woman has taste!  You will find yourself, ninety minutes later, holding your sides laughing and wondering where the time went!

Ok, seriously, I have to get something done.  I have been sitting here for hours and it’s time I earned my keep.  I could go make that bread in those new pans that I bought myself for Christmas.  They have cute little shapes.  But I’m not sure if the bread in a tube will work for that.  Maybe I should try to come up with something more productive to do with the bread?  Or I could do laundry. But I can’t bend over to take it out of the dryer, so I can only do one load until someone comes over and I have to beg them to get them out for me.  I could clean out the closet, but that requires arms over head, bending over….no, I guess not that one.  I could vacuum the floor!  Yeah!  Yay I found something I can do!! 

Crimanently, it’s sad when sucking dirt off your floor is the most productive thing you can think of to do in a day. 

Welcome to Life in the slow lane.

 

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Random Thoughts – January 2, 2012

January 2, 2012

Happy New Year!  Hope your holidays have been happy.

We had a great December. It was busy as all get out but fun just the same.  We went to a family dinner at a local steakhouse.  It was fantastic!  The kids had a blast, the adults got to catch up, and our cousin came home from far away and it was wonderful to have her home.  She is basically the driving force behind all significant family gatherings.  If not for her we would spend half our time together saying how we really need to spend more time together.  We also went to our youngest daughter’s house for a Christmas celebration.  She, her husband, and our youngest grandchild hosted our little celebration. It was the first time she had Christmas in her own home and it was really great.  The baby had a ball and entertained us all with his cute antics and his darling little sweet face. 

The only problem with the trip to our daughter’s house was the fact that it’s about two hours away.  That means that I was in a vehicle riding for about four hours that day.  For those of you who don’t know what that means…it means that for four hours that day my cerebellum was being jiggled farther and farther down into my spinal column.  It bites.  I am just now starting to feel better after massive quantities of ibuprofen and many days on my back.  But it was worth it.

We have had Christmas programs to go to for both The Buddha and Princess Bella.  They were both awesome!  Bella’s was first and it was a band concert.  Isn’t it funny how you can pick out your own child out of all the rest?  I love that.  And Bella did an excellent job!  I always feel like crying when I go to these things.  I’m just so proud. 

Buddha’s was a dance recital.  He rules.  The dancers were all wonderful.  Even more amazing was that they choreographed the dances themselves.  As I sat and watched them I was struck by how much creativity was there on that stage.  Buddha was in two dances: one in a large group and one with just three of them.  He is also the only male in the dance classes.  When he started doing his own dance in the one with three people, everyone in the audience started calling out his name.  He got a standing ovation at the end and everyone had a natural fit over him.  It made me so proud! 

We had a great Christmas Day.  It was just the six of us and it was nice and quiet.  The kids both got what they asked for (which was very little).  They both asked for just one main thing and said that if they got that they would be happy if they got anything else at all.  They were true to their word and were both happy and satisfied.  The really nice thing is that we won’t be trying to pay for it all well into this year. 

We go pick up Buddha’s car this week from his other grandparents’ house.  Bless their very souls, they are paying his insurance!!!  Which, if you have young drivers around the house, you know is incredibly expensive!  If it had been up to us he would have been 21 years old and just getting his licence because there is NO WAY we could have afforded it!  They passed a new law last night (thaaaat’s right, last night) that requires him to have a driving log that has at least 60 hours of driving time on it, done over a 6 week period, before he can get the first level of his driver’s licence.  He is totally cheesed off.  I am very happy about it.  I think  know it will be a wonderful thing for him and everyone else on the road! 

So….there’s the update.  Now for the second half of our program…..

To the Republican Party – You would not be having  near as much trouble finding a standout candidate if you would stop trying to put a candidate in the white house who would keep the status quo.  The country hasn’t forgotten that a Republican administration, defined by greed at any cost, is largely responsible for getting our country and our economy in the sad and sorry state it’s in today.  You should instead be telling us how you are going to do things differently.  Not differently from the current administration(whose hands you have tied at every turn in one of the most appalling attempts at mis-direction I have personally ever seen), but differently from what you yourselves have done in the past.  You would stand a much better chance of achieving your goals if you would do that. 

To Michelle Bachman – Chilling.  I saw you on the CBS news show this morning and you strike me as one of the most incredibly dangerous people in the world today.  You made the hair on the back of my neck twitch when you so blithely decided that traipsing out some massive weaponry and putting embargos in place strategically around Israel is a good response to Iran having nuclear capabilities!  WTF????  What, exactly, gives the U.S., in your mind, the right to “punish” another nation for having exactly the same weaponry capabilities as we do?  Did it ever cross your mind that pissing in the Wheaties of another country is not necessarily the best option for foreign relations? 

And while I’m on the subject let me just say that our country has a serious, and I mean SERIOUS, problem understanding that WE are not the only people in the world with a viewpoint, or rights, or the right to weaponry.  We believe that our country and our ways are the only ones that are right, but we do NOT extend the same right to opinion and therefore action, to anyone else.  Only we and our friends are allowed to be free to make up our own minds about what we want to do and believe.  The unmitigated gall of that crap is the very reason why a large majority of the countries of the world smile at our face, then  flip us off the minute our back is turned!!  This ridiculous policy, that it’s no fair hitting back , is bullshit.  Get the hell over it before we end up with bombing in OUR streets!!

P.S. Michelle….stop beating a dead horse and transfer your support to someone who might have an ice cube’s chance in hell of winning.  Just sayin.

I absolutely love the commercial where the kid is telling how his mom is addicted to denial.  I just can’t say how much I think the commercial is spot on.  As a parent, I have often dabbled in denial.  You can’t ….deny….(lololol) that it’s way easier than confronting a problem you don’t feel equipped to deal with effectively.  Unfortunately, the fallout from denial is way worse than the confrontation could have ever been. 

Okay, I’m tapped out now and my brain is completely empty.  Ahhhh that feels better! 

 

 


Thoughts on Anti and Pro 11/1/2011

November 1, 2011

Anti vs Pro

Antibiotics – Probiotics

antihistamine – Prohistamine

antidepressant – prodepressant

Antidote – prodote

Antibacterial – probacterial

Anticipate – procipate

Antiseptic – proseptic

Antimacassar – promacassar

Antipasto – propasto

Antipathy – propathy

Antigen – progen

Antidisestablishmentarianism – prodisestablishmentarianism 

Antique – proque

Antitheses – protheses

 

Pro vs Anti

Probably – antibably

Probation – antibation

Probe – antibe

Problem – antiblem

Procedure – anticedure

Proceed – anticeed

Profession – antifession

Profane – antifane

Profile – antifile

Profit – antifit

Prohibit – anithibit

Protect – antitect

Profound – anitfound

Project – antiject

 

This is what happens when you have too much time on your hands. 

 

 

 


My Big Day

October 27, 2011

A couple of days ago I had the best day I have had in so long I can’t really remember. It was awesome!

No, I didn’t win the lottery or Publisher’s Clearing House.  I didn’t get a free trip to the Bahamas.  I didn’t get anything….except to feel fantastic, incredible, happy, healthy,   normal.  For me normal is the highest height I can aspire to.  It’s the highest feeling I’ve had since I got FUBAR’d.   (Thank you Arnold Chiari Malformation and MS….you suck a big green weenie)

It started when I woke up at 4:30 am.  Very unusual for me lately.  Normally I would hit the snooze about seven times and sleep until almost 5:30 am.  But I felt really awake and so I rolled with it.  I got up and fixed homemade biscuits and sausage for everyone for breakfast.  After I got everyone off to school and work, I sat down to read for a few minutes.  When I looked up again I decided that feeling normal ROCKS and so I would use that time to do something constructive.  I proceeded to clean up my paper avalanche around the computer.

When I die it is going to be from being suffocated by a large pile of paper that I couldn’t think well enough to decide what to do with. 

So I put the FAT principle into motion and divided everything into three piles: File, Act, Toss.  That eliminated about 90% of the paper.  Then I filed the F pile and that left me with the Act pile.  So far so good.  Then I tossed 3 years worth of old files and dug down to the current page of my desk calendar.  That right there is more than I’ve done in months and months. 

After I was done, I could actually get to my computer without climbing any paper mountains and without a native guide.  I was happy.  I then went grocery shopping with Rocky and Pony.  When we got back I put away groceries, loaded the dishwasher, did some laundry, and fixed dinner. 

Sounds like a small fraction of anyone’s normal day, doesn’t it?  Yeah, I know.  But for me it was like a life orgasm.  I got to spend a day being sorta like I used to be.  You know, like a real person.  Like a human being that can get up in the morning and look around and say…..I need to do this and this and this…..and not mean ONLY this and this and this but mean in addition to my normal stuff. 

What I can usually do is get up in the morning and look around and say to myself….how in the name of God will I ever be able to catch up with all this stuff?  Then I get really optimistic and say to myself….just pick a couple of things to do and don’t worry about the rest.  Then I look around and there is just SO MUCH that I haven’t done that I can’t decide what needs doing most.  Which makes me feel like a total slug and worthless in the extreme.  Then I get to feeling bad about myself and it ends up where I spend most of every day trying to keep from cutting my own throat for being such a worthless excuse for a human being. 

Because I can’t lift my hands over my head because it messes up my neck and I get headaches and vertigo, and I can’t bend down because it makes me dizzy, and I can’t stand up straight for long because it makes my knees go numb, and I can’t and I can’t and I can’t and I can’t……..!  My entire life is the things I can’t. Sometimes I just go ahead and do it anyway.  Then I spend days where I can’t think good, I can’t walk good, I can’t talk good, my head hurts, my neck hurts and that damn screaming tinnitus will not leave me alone.  I don’t understand what people are saying to me, and I don’t get what they want and I don’t know how to say that I don’t get it.  I am terrified of becoming stuck in that state one day.

But the other day……I had a GOOD day!  I live off of those like they are food.


Random Thoughts of a WTF Nature 10/18/2011

October 18, 2011

WTF is the deal with re-making films and television shows?   Has imagination gone the way of personal freedom in this country?  Can no one come up with an original idea for a movie anymore?  Put forth some effort people!  How many horrible movies do we need to re-make?  And yet ANOTHER Charlie’s Angels?  Did we not get at least three different versions of that show the first time it was on? I mean, they changed the entire freakin cast several times, didn’t they?  It sure seemed like  it to me!  Then we got the movie version….OK, I liked that one.  Mainly because I really like the actresses in it. (WTF is Lucy Liu doing these days, anyway?)  NOW we get another television version of Charlie’s Angels.  Puhleaassee!!  Get up off your asses pencils and come up with something new!  Sheesh! (Footloose sucked the first time! Nuff said.)

WTF is the idea that commercials have to discuss, along with cute little graphics no less, bowels?  Seriously?  If you have questions about that, I suggest you go to your family doctor and talk about it with him/her.  Or you could take a little trip on the world wide web and get informed by a bunch of people who wrote all about their own bowels on Wiki.  If there isn’t one, after you talk to your doctor and get all the latest info on pooping, you could invent Wiki Pee dia. LOLOL  Damn sometimes I crack myself up!!

WTF is going on with young, gorgeous teachers suddenly deciding that the only place that they can knock out a piece is with a way underaged student?  Are there no grown ups out there that you can hook up with?  It boggles my mind.  Not to mention that these folks, who are teaching our children, still haven’t figured out that if you text (or sext) a kid, that kid will….I REPEAT WILL forward that text to every single person on their contacts list the instant you don’t give them the grade they want!  It’s really not rocket science. Figure it out!

WTF is up with the political situation in this country?  I have been shaking my head for so long that I think I have permanent vertigo!  Just so you folks who are professional politicians know….most of us hate you and everything you don’t stand for.  And in case any of you think you have fooled anyone, all of you Republicans and Democrats alike can stand around until Hell freezes over with your arms crossed in front of you and pointing in both directions at who is to blame, but every one of you greedy, power-hungry bastards and bitches are to blame for the situation our country is in at the moment.  I still believe that every single person who wants to be a politician for a living should be summarily shot and that every single citizen of this country should be required to serve a term as part of their duty to this country.  It couldn’t  come out any worse than it has so far!

WTF…..teenagers.  *sigh*  Need I say more?

WTF…..all the people protesting on Wall Street, and now everywhere else?   I’ve never been able to get a firm grasp on exactly what they are there for.  The pseudo-hippy dude that always seems to be the spokesman for the groups just fascinates me so much while he’s talking that I just fugue out and start reminiscing about “back in the day” when we were all involved in “the revolution” and stuff.  We were all so self  important and sure we were doing something.  Turns out what we were doing was hanging around somewhere getting all involved in one huge mutual admiration society.  We were all so busy standing around in a circle patting each other on the back that we completely missed what the powers that be were doing behind our backs.  I’m just sayin.

 

 

 

 


Charlie Sheen

March 8, 2011

Once again we get to watch a star go through a public meltdown.  So sad.  Charlie Sheen is obviously having mental, emotional, and judging by the way he looks these days, physical issues.  And of course, this being NEWS,  we will get to watch it happen on every local, state, and national newscast every day. 

I have a hard time trying to figure out why they will show this type of disaster but don’t show the bodies flying through the air when they film a traffic accident.  If it’s acceptable to show someone drowning in mental illness, why isn’t it ok to show someone jumping from a burning building? 

Both are personal disasters and they shouldn’t be made as public as humanly possible.  That’s just common and tacky behavior and news organizations should be ashamed of themselves for cashing in on it. 

I’m just sayin.

P.S.  Does it strike anyone else as odd that one of the top rated television shows in this nation is about a booze addled sexual reprobate who has no interpersonal skills except with hookers?


How Well Do You Know Your Loved Ones?

January 9, 2011

I love Stephen King’s writing.  I just get into the way he thinks.  He often surprises me with the twists he takes.  I walk around a corner expecting to see the same thing I’ve seen everyday for fifty some odd years and what I end up looking at is…..the same thing I’ve seen for fifty some odd years only different.  Viewed from a different angle.  From a different perspective.  And it makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. 

I just got done reading “Full Dark,  No Stars” and it is fantastic!  My favorite story in the book is the last one, “A Good Marriage”.  A woman accidentally finds the possibility that her husband isn’t even remotely who she thought he was.  It is an awesome story, brilliantly and sympathetically written. 

*********************************SPOILER ALERT!!!!!SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!*****************************

 

In the days when BTK came back around, after he was caught, I often wondered about his wife.  It was smart in the extreme in my opinion for her to stay out of the media spotlight.  Because  you CAN be with someone for years on end and have no idea who they REALLY are.  What you see is the mask they let you see and nothing more.  This is true of everyone.  This is natural.  You can’t give every second of your life away to someone, it would take too much time and it really tells you nothing because I can’t understand completely how you perceived every moment of your life.  And your perception of your life is your reality. 

I heard many people talk about how his wife had to know something.  I don’t believe that’s true.  I mean I don’t believe she HAD to know something.  People have a blue million little quirks that never even register, much less make you look closer. I think it’s absolutely possible to live with someone like that and never even suspect a thing.  They would make sure that early in the relationship they set their limits on everything.  It would look just like every other relationship that is just beginning and people set their boundaries.  Only in this case the boundaries would be for hiding and not for personal space. 

Once you get into a habit of not invading someone’s space you never really think about it again.  Unless something really slaps you in the face about it.  Then and only then do you really think about what it might have meant.  What it might have been for

I’m guessing that women/men who are victims of a bigamist feel the same kind of wonder/horror/humiliation/shame that the spouse of a serial killer would feel.  All of the boundaries are set early on.  You never question them.  Until….

Anyway….read the book.  The other stories in the book are Stephen King through and through.  I just love that guy.  The Good Marriage just spoke to me of things I have thought about before myself.  Luckily, Stephen King has magic in his storytelling.  He can jell the random thoughts that roll through my brain in a way that makes me feel smart……and sorta creepy.  I like that!


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