Okay, this is going to sound soooo strange but I think my two outside dogs have stolen some puppies. My Dearest Husband and I went to the elementary school today to eat lunch with Princess Bella. And let me just say……they have rockin lunch! Anyway, when we came back to the house all of our inside dogs, who we had left outside to enjoy the beautiful weather, were going insane. They were so discombobulated that they didn’t know whether to wind their watch or scratch their ass! They were jumping, whining, barking, and just generally milling about in high lather.
I didn’t immediately get it because the inside dogs are insane most of the time anyway. They are small dogs to begin with, then you have to take into account that they were raised with The Buddha and Princess Bella as daily companions. Add to that the fact that they spend an inordinate amount of time alone with me and you have the consummate recipe for insanity in all small animals.
However, it did seem odd that outside dogs were totally calm. They had that suspiciously innocent look on their faces, like…..Whatever could be wrong with them???? That gave me a hinky feeling right there.
As we’re walking up the walk the little dogs fly into the bushes in the front flower garden. We looked to see what it was and I was stunned. There, all curled up and wide eyed with fear, were two of the cutest little puppies! Normally this wouldn’t have hit me like a sledgehammer, however, we just got rid of fifteen puppies and now here are two more!
It’s like the canine version of Groundhog Day. I can’t get out of this nightmare. Every time I think I’m done with the puppy thang, I end up with more of them. None of this is helped by the fact that Ditto is now hugely pregnant. *sigh*
I have to add here that this reminds me of my life in general. Every time I get done raising a child to an acceptable age, I get more of them! WTF???
But, back to the alleged theft……Jeremiah and Sugar Plum(the outside dogs) are still all calm and serene. They are NEVER calm and serene. And here is something even more suspicious……We put all the dogs in the house so that I could get a better look at the new arrivals. While I was outside trying to coax the puppies out of the bushes, Jeremiah was in the house acting out the fact that he didn’t want me out there alone with his new acquisitions!
He stood at the door whining and barking. Then he ran to MDH and looked at him. Then back to the door. Then he stood up on his hind legs and watched me out the window. Then he ran back and put his head in MDH’s lap, ran to the door again and looked pointedly back at him. Needless to say, he was NOT happy.
It is my theory that he was worried that I would take those two puppies and not bring them home just like I did the other fifteen. This in turn leads me to believe that he and Sugar Plum, who had been licking, grooming, playing with, and generally taking care of the puppies while I tried to get them out of the bushes, know what is going on here. I further believe that they went out and found them a couple of pets of their own.
All I can do is hope that I don’t get a visit from the law wanting to know if my typewriter matches the one that the ransom note was typed on. *gulp* God forbid they come up with a paw print match from the FBI. Or a DNA match on the paper that the ransom note was written on. Or worse yet, that we will never find the rightful owners of the two alleged puppies and have to try to find new homes for them too!
Until then, Jeremiah and Sugar Plum are going to be feeding, walking and pooper scooping. And I’m not taking no for an answer either!