Nadya Suleman

March 26, 2009

Up to this point I have refrained from commenting on this situation.  Now the pressure to speak is about to blow my teeth right out of my mouth.  I think there are several points on which good old common sense is called for.

Let me begin by saying that the most important factor in this entire situation is the well being of all of Nadya’s children.  Period.  Their well being should be first and foremost in everyone’s mind.  They had no choice in their existence and should not be held responsible for, or pay the price for, anyone else’s decisions.

First:  Nadya made bad decisions.  We all know that and there is no argument about that as far as I can tell.  So, enough of the condemnation.  You can’t unring that bell.  Move on.

She obviously has issues in spades.  I don’t know much of anyone who wouldn’t when viewed through unyielding eye of the public.  The spectacular success of her last pregnancy isn’t one of them.  Yes, she was wrong to have the embryos implanted when she was obviously not able to care, by herself, for the six children she already had.  There were many other options available to her besides the implantation.  For example:  She could have used the money she spent having them implanted to store them for a longer time. 

You have to admit this one thing about it though: In no stretch of the imagination could anyone have thought that not only would all six implants take, but that two of them would split!  Add to that the fact that all eight survived and you have an astronomically cosmic coincidence.  She couldn’t have predicted the extent of that one bad decision.  No one could have.  I believe her when she said that she didn’t expect, based on her previous implants, that any of this would happen.

She needs help in a lot of areas.  However, that doesn’t make her a bad mother or a bad person.  That makes her a normal human being in abnormal circumstances.  Up until Gloria Allred and the Angels In Waiting team were removed from her house, I never heard anyone say she wasn’t a good mother.  Kids don’t care about anything except whether they are loved.  I believe her kids feel loved by her.  Yes I understand that kids need more than love, but these children aren’t going hungry or neglected.  By whatever means are being used, they are being taken care of. 

 

Second:  This audaciously presumptive idea there has to be “Total Transparency” in everything Nadya does.  That’s the biggest crock I’ve ever heard.  That was an idea I first heard spouted by Dr. Phil on his television show.  Usually I agree with Dr. Phil, but this time I think he’s full of it.  The last thing these children need is to have every moment of their lives debated by ignorant assholes with a media fetish  people who could care less about anything but themselves on national television day after day.  What they need is  “Total Privacy“.  That includes Dr. Phil and Gloria Allred!  Butt out!  Stop inserting yourselves into someone else’s life in order to get ratings and media attention.  The powers that be in her area are on it.  Let them do what they are supposed to do and stop trying to use her to get whatever you can for yourself out of it.

 

Third: Dr. Phil and Gloria Allred – I’m ashamed of both of you.  If your main concern was truly the welfare of these fourteen children, you would have quietly and without fanfare, gone to Nadya and offered her whatever help you could.  There was absolutely NO need for all of the shows done or all of the press conferences held in order to assist this mother.  I don’t blame Nadya for not wanting any of you around anymore.  If you were using me and mine the way you used her and hers, I wouldn’t want your greedy butts around me either!

Gloria Allred, what makes you think that you have a right to enter a private residence, uninvited, and then make them force you to leave?  You and your ladies could have just as easily set up a time and place away  from all the media AND THE CHILDREN you claim to want to protect, to have your little celebration, couldn’t you?  That should have been a private celebration away from the children.  The fact that you chose instead to insert yourself into someone’s private residence to do it, then make a big deal out of the fact that you had to leave is the perfect indication that your motives are less than altruistic.  Greed for the spotlight doesn’t look good on anyone, Gloria.  You should keep that in mind.

Fourth: Angels In Waiting – Your best bet would be to stop letting Gloria Allred blow smoke up your ass about how much good it would be for your organization to swoop in and “rescue” these eight preemies.  She did you NO favors.  It’s really NOT your place to “set boundaries” for a woman in her own home in regards to her own children.  The fact that you believe you have that right is frightening and speaks volumes about why you are no longer there.  Nadya’s decision to choose her own assistants seems to me a good first step towards getting a handle on what’s going on around her and her family.  “Total Transparency” is not good for her or her children.  NO one needs to try to live their life on a stage for the approval of the public.  That idea is ridiculous and dangerous, not the least reason being that the public will never approve.   And it’s not the public’s business!  What moron decided that it was?

Did it occur to any of you nice ladies that Nadya had MANY places to be every day?  She still needs to spend time with the four children who remain in the hospital, she has to spend time with the six older children every day, she has to supply food for them, she has to deal with the legal issues she now has.  IF she came home at midnight with Gap bags in hand, it is possible that midnight is the only time she HAS to shop for her children!  And regardless of whether YOU think it’s appropriate or not, she has to have a FEW moments for herself as well if she is to continue to try to care for her family.

Please, get away from Gloria “media hound” Allred.  Take a deep breath and relax.  Now, do you really think you came off well by going on a rant about the replacement of a leaking bathtub?  If she hadn’t replaced the bathtub you would have been having a fit about the unsanitary and unsafe conditions in the house……again.  You really can’t have it both ways.  Just accept the fact that it didn’t work out, you won’t come out of all this as the heros you saw yourselves being in the beginning, and let it go.  You’re embarassing yourselves by all this justification. 

Let your organization and it’s deeds speak for themselves and you’ll be fine.  I’m sure that in normal circumstances you are all fine and giving people. 

 

And…… on a view I have heard way too often lately by people who have the media spotlight:  Dr. Phil stated today that the legitimate press was too often quoting the internet and therefore reporting false information.      Dear God where do I start with that one? 

 1. It is the JOB of the “legitimate” media to check their facts before they report them!    If someone on the internet reported that Dr. Phil was a pedophile, wouldn’t it be the job of the “legitimate” press to check their facts before they reported it?  “I read it on the internet” isn’t really your best defence if you are “legitimate” press! 

Dr. Phil also stated that that is a “problem” with the internet, that anyone with a computer can say whatever they want to say!

2. Well DUH!  To quote YOU on your show today, “This is America!”  As far as I know, the right to free speech is still alive and well in America.  Just because you don’t agree, it doesn’t give you the right to condemn the rest of us for speaking OUR minds.  YOU do that too, Dr. Phil.  We’re not out here trying to get your show taken off the air just because you are so incredibly wrong in the way you dealt with Nadya Suleman!  OR because you make your living off the backs of desperate people who need help.  Now are we?  So you can take your dislike of the internet and those of us who speak our minds and stick it where the sun don’t shine. 

 

One last thing for those of you who believe that putting Nadya Suleman’s children in foster care:  You obviously have NO idea what you’re talking about.  I was awarded custody of  my grandchildren only after they spent eight months in foster care.  They were abused both emotionally and physically.  Their very blood was vilified because they had different fathers.  They were turned against each other in a way that was horrifying.  Only now, after nearly six years of weekly counseling, are they able to interact with each other in an almost normal way.  Survival instincts are very hard to undo.

The foster care mother they had no longer cares for children because, right after my grandchildren left her care, a child died.  Unattended in a bathtub.  So, unless you are going to personally guarantee the safety of these children, both physically and emotionally, STFU.  You can’t imagine the devastating effect of being wrenched from your natural parents.  No matter how bad their home was, it was home.  No matter how much you love and care for them you will never ever be their parents.  They will always long for the home they lost.  They will never feel that they totally belong.  They will always feel once removed.  Even when they understand that it was the best thing for them, you can’t take their longing for belonging away from them.  You can never take the shame of being removed from their parents away from them either. 

So, unless you feel that total emotional devastation is an acceptable price for these kids to pay for their mother’s bad decisions, please stop talking about it.  It will only hurt them when the person you really want to punish is their mother. 

I wish the best for Nadya Suleman and each and every one of her children.  So should everyone who professes to care for the welfare of those children.  And I hope that I don’t hear another word about her for a long, long time.


Cat Burglers…..Only With Dogs?

March 18, 2009

Okay, this is going to sound soooo strange but I think my two outside dogs have stolen some puppies.  My Dearest Husband and I went to the elementary school today to eat lunch with Princess Bella.  And let me just say……they have rockin lunch!  Anyway, when we came back to the house all of our inside dogs, who we had left outside to enjoy the beautiful weather, were going insane.  They were so discombobulated that they didn’t know whether to wind their watch or scratch their ass!  They were jumping, whining, barking, and just generally milling about in high lather.

I didn’t immediately get it because the inside dogs are insane most of the time anyway.  They are small dogs to begin with, then you have to take into account that they were raised with The Buddha and Princess Bella as daily companions.  Add to that the fact that they spend an inordinate amount of time alone with me and you have the consummate recipe for insanity in all small animals.

However, it did seem odd that outside dogs were totally calm.  They had that suspiciously innocent look on their faces, like…..Whatever could be wrong with them????  That gave me a hinky feeling right there. 

As we’re walking up the walk the little dogs fly into the bushes in the front flower garden.  We looked to see what it was and I was stunned.  There, all curled up and wide eyed with fear, were two of the cutest little puppies!  Normally this wouldn’t have hit me like a sledgehammer, however, we just got rid of fifteen puppies and now here are two more!

It’s like the canine version of Groundhog Day.  I can’t get out of this nightmare.  Every time I think I’m done with the puppy thang, I end up with more of them.  None of this is helped by the fact that Ditto is now hugely pregnant.  *sigh*

I have to add here that this reminds me of my life in general.  Every time I get done raising a child to an acceptable age, I get more of them!  WTF???

But, back to the alleged theft……Jeremiah and Sugar Plum(the outside dogs) are still all calm and serene.  They are NEVER calm and serene.  And here is something even more suspicious……We put all the dogs in the house so that I could get a better look at the new arrivals.  While I was outside trying to coax the puppies out of the bushes, Jeremiah was in the house acting out the fact that he didn’t want me out there alone with his new acquisitions! 

He stood at the door whining and barking.  Then he ran to MDH and looked at him.  Then back to the door.  Then he stood up on his hind legs and watched me out the window.  Then he ran back and put his head in MDH’s lap, ran to the door again and looked pointedly back at him.  Needless to say, he was NOT happy. 

It is my theory that he was worried that I would take those two puppies and not bring them home just like I did the other fifteen.  This in turn leads me to believe that he and Sugar Plum, who had been licking, grooming, playing with, and generally taking care of the puppies while I tried to get them out of the bushes, know what is going on here.  I further believe that they went out and found them a couple of pets of their own. 

All I can do is hope that I don’t get a visit from the law wanting to know if my typewriter matches the one that the ransom note was typed on.  *gulp*   God forbid they come up with a paw print match from the FBI.  Or a DNA match on the paper that the ransom note was written on.  Or worse yet, that we will never find the rightful owners of the two alleged puppies and have to try to find new homes for them too! 

Until then, Jeremiah and Sugar Plum are going to be feeding, walking and pooper scooping.  And I’m not taking no for an answer either!


Thoughts 3.5.09

March 5, 2009

I watched Princess Bride again yesterday.  I love that movie.  It made me think though…….we see movies based on books all the time, but we never see a book based on a movie.  Why is that?

 

Another thing I’ve been thinking about lately is this:  Why is it that some people have no problem creating children, but when the children are no longer in their “possession”, they can’t imagine a reason in the world why they should be financially responsible?  What must one say to oneself to make it alright to not pay child support?  How do you justify to yourself that it’s okay to throw a $500.00 party, but it’s not even in the realm of possibility to pay for your child to eat, or have clothes that fit, or maybe just eat at McDonalds?  People sometimes mystify me. 

 

Rihanna is living proof that even celebrities are not immune to the battered wife syndrome.  Hell, she’s not even married to Chris Brown and she’s putting up with this crap.  It’s unfortunate that people see themselves from the inside out just when they most need to see themselves from the outside in.  I wish them both luck.

 

Why don’t the banks stop taking back houses that they can’t sell, and in the process, creating an entirely new class of h0meless people?  Why not take half payments on mortgages until the economy gets better?  Isn’t half of something better than one hundred percent of nothing? 

 

I’m old.  I know this not because I’m fifty-one but because I don’t get it anymore.  I don’t understand why people feel the need to live out their lives on a stage for all the world to see.  I like my life to belong to me and the people that I’m closest to.  I don’t feel the need to “update my status” multiple times a day for people that I don’t know and never will.  I don’t want pictures of myself and my family all over the internet.  I can use the phone and call whoever I want to.  I can drive down the road and see people all day long.   It seems to me that by living your entire life for the public to see makes it so that everyone feels the right to be a critic.  And in my opinion there are only two people who have a right to comment on my life and that’s me and My Dearest Husband.  Everyone else can just stick a sock in it. 

 

It is very, very, VERY hard to give away fifteen puppies, but it is NOT impossible if you have a nearby WalMart parking lot and a few hours!


Katie Couric chaps my A$$ but the Firefighter’s Burned Children’s Fund doesn’t

March 3, 2009

I’m beginning to think that I have an unhealthy attitude regarding Katie Couric.  That little wench just chaps my ass!  I was listening to her hyper-giggling on David Letterman tonight.  They were having a discussion about television and the Internet becoming inter-connected.  Then Katie says that the Internet has become a place where just anyone with an opinion has an open forum to state them(their opinions)!  She continued with the observation that in the past people’s opinions would come into the office, be read by someone, then placed in the “round file”, meaning they would be thrown out.   Now, however, they are out there on the Internet for everyone to see.

Apparently Katie thinks that her opinions are the only ones that count.  She seems to think that those of us with a different take on things have no right to express ourselves because we aren’t whoring ourselves out to the news outlets like she does.    Personally, I believe that the good old US of A would be a far better place if we just tossed Katie Couric into the round file. 

I really need a hobby.  Or I need to stop watching the news. 

What I really need to do is stop giving her my time. 

 

So, on to something that doesn’t make me want to puke!

The Firefighter’s Burned Children’s Fund.  This is an organisation that gets my full support in any way I can give it.  They are fantastic.  When the area president asked me to take her place on Valentine’s Day, I happily agreed.  She had gone to one of the area elementary schools and asked them to make Valentines/Get Well cards for her.  She then got together some small gifts and put them in bags with the cards attached.  They were going to the children at the UNC -Chapel Hill burn center. 

Unfortunately she had to work that day and couldn’t go to deliver them.  So I got to do it!  MDH came with me and another guy took us in the “official vehicle.”  One of the local kids that had been burned came with us to hand out the gifts.  We had fifty gifts to distribute.  We walked through the burn unit.  MDH and I hadn’t been there since Princess Bella was there. 

The burn unit brings back a lot of distressing memories for me.  But it was for the FBCF and the kids, so I sucked it up and we went.  It was a really good experience for me.  I think it was good for MDH as well.  We understood how these people were feeling.  We understood how you get stuck inside those walls and it’s hard to remember what is going on in the outside world. 

Wow, I actually can’t write about this!  Hah!  I thought I was farther along than this.  Okay, I’m going to have to cut this a little short.  Sorry.

It was a great experience and it was good for me.  We delivered all but two of the gifts.  We gave them to everyone on the burn unit, then went to the children’s ward and gave them out there as well.  The parents were grateful, the kids were thrilled and it was a fun time for the little fella that came with us.  He found his pictures on the wall at the burn unit.  He loved the babies.  He got to do something for someone else and I believe it was good for him to be able to do that. 

Okay, now I’m all creeped out by thinking about the burn unit so I’m done for now. 

I really need a hobby!


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