Never Turn Your Back On Them

Well, school is out!  (insert falsely bright, slightly maniacal grin here)  Now I have to make all of these annoying adjustments to my schedule.  For instance: during school my morning consists of getting The Buddha out of bed.  This takes thirty minutes.  Exactly thirty minutes.  No more, no less.  He takes five-five more minutes-es.  Then one five minute long “I AM UP.” After that he emerges from his room and begins his morning ritual that ends with “OMG we have to go or I’ll miss the bus!!!!!” followed by a mad dash for the door. 

Fifteen minutes into his getting ready time Princess Bella gets up.  Before her feet hit the floor she is arguing about what kind of cereal she wants.  She doesn’t necessarily argue with anyone in particular, it is mostly directed into the cosmos.  However if you are unfortunate enough to align yourself with her eyes, she will focus on you and you will then become the recipient of her morning venom.  Too bad for you today!

Bella’s morning routine consists of being displeased, argumentative, and surly about everything and anything that she can possibly conceive of regardless of whether it has any bearing on school, getting ready for school, on herself, her clothing, her city, state, country, hemisphere, or even her region of the Milky Way.  By the time her bus leaves she is usually screaming bloody murder that she absolutely MUST HAVE THAT AXE HANDLE FOR SCHOOL HER TEACHER SAID SO!!!! 

And so we begin another lovely before school day!  🙂

By the time they are both safely on the bus, exactly one and one half hours have gone by and it is time for my nap! 

Oh, but now school is out.  They will not be getting on a bus.  They will be performing all of the above and then………*sob*……… STAYING HERE ALL DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scream.  I’m trying very hard to maintain an aura of calm.  I mean it’s only been two days, right?  It can’t be all that bad!  And The Buddha spent both days with friends.  I’ve only had Princess Bella since school let out. 

Yesterday I decided that it would be okay to just lay down and rest my eyes for a bit.  That’s what we call a nap down here in the south.  We rest our eyes.  So, I found Bella a good TV show, ( I know, TV isn’t a babysitter, it IS however a great diversionary technique, so yall just shush up!) and I lay down to “rest my eyes” for a few minutes.  After a bit I felt her giving me sweet little kisses.  Awwww!  That was so sweet.  Especially since just a little while earlier she had been screaming at a glass shattering decibel about how she had to put mascara on the puppies.

I relaxed into a nice soothing eye rest.  Oh yall!  It was so nice.  After about twenty minutes a knock came on the door.  This creates an earth shattering hell cracking chaos in my house that you would not believe.  DeeDee goes apeshit, which makes the puppies go apeshit, which makes Bella start hollering at them and at me, which makes me start yelling at them all to shut the hell up, which makes them all redouble their efforts because they sense my distress.  It’s annoying to say the least.

It was the mailman.  After getting all the cutthroat varmints out of the vicinity of the door, I opened it to see what he wanted.  He looked at me in a mighty odd way.  I figured my eye resting must have made my eyes puffy or something.  I smiled and his eyes got all round and he kinda stuttered and said I had a package too big for the box.  He handed me all my stuff, I thanked him, he backed up and still staring at me all wierd, he left.  I was thinking that I must look really bad, I went to look in the mirror.

WTF????  Princess Bella……Dear Dear Princess Satan’s Spawn Bella.  Those were NOT sweet little kisses.  Those were skull, froggie, princess, ect,ect, stickers all over my face!  Holy crap!  She had plastered my freakin face with stickers while I slept…….er…….I mean while I was resting my eyes! 

And here I am standing at the damn door with the mailman like it’s normal as apple pie to have stickers all over my face while I take the mail from him!  ROFLMAO.  And I’m wondering why HE is looking so funny at ME!!!!!!!!

So the moral of this story is…….summer is long. They are younger than you.  Never turn your back on them!

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4 Responses to Never Turn Your Back On Them

  1. thought4food says:

    RAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! How do ya do hugs and kisses on here??? Dang I miss you. Although, I’m not sure exactly what would happen these days when the dumbing down factor went into effect. LOL I’m such a dumbass now that it’s hard to imagine me getting any dumber. If we sat next to each other on the couch now, inside of 10 minutes I would be drooling(more) and not able to say real words!

    HA! We could just make up our own. Yeah! Our own language. I like it! We’ll call it Re-Re-ese. *giggle* It would be sorta like Chinese only for re-re’s like me…….and you if you sat next to me for long.

    Remember all those times we sat on the couch at the house on the corner and just got stoooopid???? LOLOLOLOL aaahhh good times, good times.

    I miss ya, RayRay. I miss all the good times we used to all have together. It all seemed so easy then, didn’t it? So effortless. We all gravitated together like lint to a belly button. All we needed to have a good time was each other. And once one person got somewhere, it was like a dam broke and everyone else ended up there too.

    It’s lonely here. It’s lonely now compared to then. I can go weeks and never see anyone who doesn’t live on this hill. It makes me sad when I think of how we all used to be: Fun and happy and lighthearted and expectant and optimistic.

    But then my brain damage kicks in and I forget that I’m sad and I’m happy to be alone most of the time. That’s the saddest thing of all, I think.

    It’s damn sure nice to hear from you. I heard from ruiner a while back, and MelZ comes by sometimes here on the blog. Whoa! Gotta love ruiner’s hair! It rulez!!!!!!

    Anywho…….I found yer site and I’ve visited already. I’ll be back soon to talk to you there. Take care!

  2. Hey, hey…long time no hear. This is a funny story. Sounds like your morning are a lot like mine now…lol

    drop me an email sometime. I miss you guys…*sob*

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  4. pobept says:

    Loved your loving child adventure. Grin
    Thanks I need the diversion..

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