Blackwater was hired as an independent contractor to guard and protect visiting dignitaries while they were in Iraq.  That’s my take on it, anyway.  If I’m wrong, please disregard the following.

Would you rather they wait to return fire until all the Iraqi citizens are out of the way?  I’m sure Condoleeza Rice won’t mind waiting under the Hummer until they all scurry inside first.  What’s a little dirt and oil up her nose, right?  I mean, that’s just par for the course when you’re visiting a war torn nation.  You really don’t expect to go from one place to another without hitting the dirt several times on the way, right?

It’s not like they have roadside bombs going off over there every day, right?  I mean please!  Show some restraint guys!  Let Condie get a graze at least before you start return fire!  She’s a right tough little cookie!  She won’t mind!  Hell the Secretary of State would be willing to take one for the team before you actually start firing back.  He’s a generous kinda guy. 

And if Hillary ever comes over, you can just put a stick up her ass and wave her around like a target peace flag and see if that works out for you.  If she comes back full of bullet holes, maybe that was just an accident and you can try again with Bill.

I just don’t understand why you guys automatically assume that when a vehicle bursts out of traffic and starts towards you at a high rate of speed, it must be a threat!  Jeeze maybe it’s just some Iraqi guy who’s late for work.  I mean, gun barrels bristling out the windows don’t necessarily haveto mean that they are being aggressive do they?  Maybe they’re just going skeet shooting at the country club.  Did you ever think of that?

And what are a few mis-aimed bombs between friends?  Jiminy!  You would think that they were attacking you or something, just because they bombed a few barracks and killed a few people.  You guys have got to lighten UP!  If you don’t do that soon, people just might think you have a job to do there and that you take it seriously.  God knows, we don’t want THAT to happen!


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