I suffer from a terrible, terrible disorder. It affects millions of people the world over. Sadly there is no cure. *sob*
This horrible malady causes a melting effect of the face that is frightening to little children and disheartening to the sufferers. It leaches all color out of the hair, and causes an extreme overgrowth of the skin that creates a sagging effect on the body of the afflicted.
Strange lines and grooves appear in the faces, hands, arms, even……yes, even the legs of these poor, poor individuals. Tiny dark spots show up out of nowhere. They bend over as if weighted down. Yet no weight shows up on any photograph or scientific test.
But the most debilitating of all of the symptoms of this terrible disease are the mental ones. Imagine putting on your glasses to hunt for your glasses because you can’t see to look for your glasses without your glasses on! Oh! How horrible!
Try, if you only can, to imagine burning the hair in your nose because you tried to light a cigarette that you forgot to put in your mouth! *gasp*
Sad……so sad. 😦
Imagine going to a fast food drive thru, taking your false teeth out and wrapping them in a napkin while you eat, then tossing them out with the trash. *sigh*
This malady is the scourge of millions worldwide. It has no cure. Send no money. There is nothing we can do but cry.
Youth Deficiency! Damn You! Damn You! Da Hey Look! I found my hair brush! I’ve been looking for that!………Uh…… What was I saying?